One of my favorite books is Kokoro by Natsume Soseki. The first time I read it, I was in junior high school during a Japanese literature class. At that time, I didn’t fully understand it—I still don’t think I fully understand it now—but something about it stayed with me. It wasn’t like the other books we read in class. It felt darker, more complicated, like it was talking about things people don’t usually talk about.
There’s one line from the book that I’ve never forgotten:
もう取り返しがつかないという黒い光が、私の未来を貫いて、一瞬間に私の前に横たわる全障害をものすごく照らしました。
When I first read it, I thought, “Wow, 黒い光 (black light) sounds so cool.” I was a junior high school student, so maybe it’s no surprise I thought that. But even now, I still think the sound of it is really cool. At the time, I didn’t know why it hit me so hard. I couldn’t explain it. It just felt... powerful.
Translating it into English is really hard. The emotions in those words are so strong. Sometimes I switch between Japanese and English trying to find the right way to say it. Here are three attempts I’ve tried:
The first attempt:"A black light, from the thought that there’s no going back, cut through my future. For a moment, it revealed all the obstacles ahead of me."This feels close to the original, but it seems a bit too simple. Maybe it’s missing the emotional weight?
The second attempt:"A dark light, carrying the weight of no return, cut through my future. In that moment, it showed every obstacle before me with a harsh, overwhelming brightness."I tried to bring out the heavy feeling here, the way it forces you to see things you’d rather avoid.
The third attempt:"A black light, born from the realization that nothing can be undone, shot through my future. For one moment, it revealed every unavoidable obstacle, harsh and painfully clear."This one feels closest to what I want to say. Maybe it’s a little too emotional? I don’t know—it’s not perfect, but it feels right.
The story of Kokoro is simple. It’s about relationships, betrayal, guilt, and loneliness. But the emotions in it are overwhelming, especially for Sensei. The regret and choices he carries are so heavy, but they’re not loud or dramatic. They’re just there, in every word.
What really stays with me isn’t the plot. It’s the way Kokoro makes you sit with those emotions, even when it’s uncomfortable. It’s a reminder that sometimes the simplest stories are the ones that tell the deepest truths.